1
00:00:02,935 --> 00:00:07,171
[♪]
2
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:18,083
♪ love and marriage ♪
3
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:20,318
♪ love and marriage ♪
4
00:00:20,319 --> 00:00:24,723
♪ go together
like a horse and carriage ♪
5
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:28,627
♪ this, I tell you, brother ♪
6
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:34,132
♪ you can't have one
without the other ♪
7
00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:35,133
♪ love and marriage ♪
8
00:00:35,134 --> 00:00:36,901
♪ love and marriage ♪
9
00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:43,541
♪ it's an institute
you can't disparage ♪
10
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:46,310
♪ ask the local gentry ♪
11
00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:50,815
♪ and they will say
it's elementary ♪
12
00:00:50,816 --> 00:00:53,118
♪ try, try ♪
13
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:55,720
♪ try to separate them ♪
14
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:59,457
♪ it's an illusion ♪
15
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♪ try, try ♪
16
00:01:01,727 --> 00:01:06,230
♪ try and you will only come ♪
17
00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:08,066
♪ to this conclusion ♪
18
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,101
♪ love and marriage-- ♪
19
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:26,417
Peg?
20
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:28,787
Kids?
21
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,722
Thank you.
22
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:38,196
No wife, no kids...
23
00:01:38,197 --> 00:01:40,131
No pain.
24
00:01:40,132 --> 00:01:43,334
The way god intended.
25
00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:45,937
[sighs]
26
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:48,506
Now I'm truly alive.
27
00:01:52,078 --> 00:01:53,978
Hi, honey.
28
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,514
Are the kids home?
29
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,850
What's it to you?
30
00:01:58,851 --> 00:01:59,851
[sighs]
31
00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:00,919
Nothing really.
32
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,953
I was just thinking
33
00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:04,823
We could spend
some time together.
34
00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:07,525
[tv turns on]
35
00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:08,893
[tv shuts off]
36
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:21,840
Isn't this nice?
37
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,842
Let's have sex.
38
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:24,843
Wait a second, peg.
39
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,345
Didn't we do it
last month?
40
00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:29,513
Yeah, but let's
finish it.
41
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:35,620
Sit up, shut up,
and brace yourself.
42
00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,521
[crying]
43
00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:40,591
Kids, save me!
44
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:42,026
No one can help you, al.
45
00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:46,965
Take me on a 30-second trip
to the moon.
46
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:51,535
Damn. It's mom's birthday.
47
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,006
Kids.
48
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,742
Don't ever leave me alone
with your mother again.
49
00:02:57,743 --> 00:03:00,011
How was school?
50
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:02,346
It was fine, mom.
51
00:03:02,347 --> 00:03:03,581
This is our last week.
52
00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:05,683
Uh-oh.
53
00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:07,051
I'd better start going.
54
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:12,056
Kelly, are you failing again?
55
00:03:12,057 --> 00:03:14,192
Say something to her, al.
56
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:16,194
This is
no good, kelly.
57
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:18,997
Now, go play.
58
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,965
Let's not forget
we're parents.
59
00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:22,466
Now, come on, kelly,
60
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:25,503
There must be someone at school
you can cheat off.
61
00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:27,672
You can't be a junior forever.
62
00:03:27,673 --> 00:03:29,373
Oh, the pressure!
63
00:03:29,374 --> 00:03:31,009
"kelly,
you have to go to school.
64
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:32,610
"kelly, you have to pass.
65
00:03:32,611 --> 00:03:34,645
Kelly, you have to learn
to read."
66
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:40,218
How am I supposed to grow up
with this hanging over my head?
67
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:42,787
Come on now, sweetheart.
68
00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:44,722
I know you can pass.
69
00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,557
You're a smart girl.
70
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,999
You're right, mom,
71
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,201
And I will not be seen
72
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:57,635
Sitting next
to my little brother
73
00:03:57,636 --> 00:03:59,237
In "since" class.
74
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:02,707
That's science class, kel.
75
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,708
Oh, al,
76
00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:06,110
She's trying
so hard.
77
00:04:06,111 --> 00:04:07,846
Hey, maybe what I need
78
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,014
Is a smart little feeb
with no social life
79
00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:11,015
To tutor me.
80
00:04:11,016 --> 00:04:13,384
Bud, would you help me pass?
81
00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:15,186
I'll give it a shot,
82
00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:16,520
But I might have more luck
83
00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:19,123
Teaching buck
how to sing and dance.
84
00:04:21,426 --> 00:04:22,927
What subjects
do you need help in?
85
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:23,928
I don't know.
86
00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:25,463
What classes
am I taking?
87
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,201
Oh, al.
88
00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:32,403
A warm family moment.
89
00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:36,140
Now, sit up, shut up,
and brace yourself.
90
00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:37,909
Wait a second, peg.
91
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,310
Remember, the kids are here.
92
00:04:39,311 --> 00:04:42,113
Now, if you wanna have sex,
they'll have to leave,
93
00:04:42,114 --> 00:04:44,482
And if you want it to be good,
you'll have to leave.
94
00:04:47,319 --> 00:04:49,420
I want us to have
95
00:04:49,421 --> 00:04:51,689
A beautiful expression
of our love.
96
00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:52,690
Now, come on.
97
00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:53,657
[gags]
98
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:58,429
Now, let's go downstairs.
99
00:04:58,430 --> 00:04:59,630
You can put
some dirty laundry
100
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:00,664
On the ping-pong table
101
00:05:00,665 --> 00:05:04,335
And disappoint me
as only you can.
102
00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:07,805
Well, after you, sweetheart.
103
00:05:07,806 --> 00:05:08,706
Uh-huh.
104
00:05:13,379 --> 00:05:15,246
[pounding on door]
105
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:20,718
Peg:
Open this door, al!
106
00:05:20,719 --> 00:05:22,387
When I get outta here,
107
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:26,357
We're gonna do it twice!
108
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:30,328
That means
a full minute, al!
109
00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,762
[pounding continues]
110
00:05:31,763 --> 00:05:33,731
[al whimpering]
111
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,967
I deserve
a beautiful expression
112
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,136
Of our love,
you slug...
113
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,939
And I'm gonna have it!
114
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:44,508
Oh...Hi, kids.
115
00:05:44,509 --> 00:05:46,477
[sighs]
116
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,313
So how's
the studying going?
117
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,181
Great, we're on our way
to the library.
118
00:05:50,182 --> 00:05:51,849
Bud's really been helping me.
119
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,351
We've been
studying history.
120
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,919
For instance,
did you know
121
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:59,723
That thomas jefferson's
wife was black?
122
00:05:59,724 --> 00:06:02,726
He and weezy
were poor once, you know.
123
00:06:06,631 --> 00:06:08,499
He was a real
renaissance man.
124
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:12,903
He was an architect
and a dry cleaner.
125
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:14,372
And a songwriter.
126
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:15,906
Tell them, kel.
127
00:06:15,907 --> 00:06:17,908
Well, when thomas jefferson
was writing
128
00:06:17,909 --> 00:06:19,543
The declaration
of independence,
129
00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:22,213
On the back,
he wrote this song...
130
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:24,682
♪ well, I'm movin' on up ♪
131
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:26,584
♪ to the east side ♪
132
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:29,153
♪ to a deluxe apartment ♪
133
00:06:29,154 --> 00:06:30,554
♪ in the sky ♪
134
00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:31,789
♪ we're movin' on up ♪
135
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:32,857
♪ movin' on up ♪
136
00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,425
♪ to the east side ♪
137
00:06:34,426 --> 00:06:35,559
♪ movin' on up ♪
138
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:41,732
♪ we finally got
a piece of the pie ♪
139
00:06:47,006 --> 00:06:48,906
Junior no more,
huh, dad?
140
00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:57,848
Al, I'm worried
about kelly.
141
00:06:57,849 --> 00:06:59,517
Oh, well.
142
00:06:59,518 --> 00:07:02,987
Sit up, shut up,
and brace yourself.
143
00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:04,955
Peggy!
144
00:07:04,956 --> 00:07:06,824
There's something
disgusting going on
145
00:07:06,825 --> 00:07:08,893
In this neighborhood!
146
00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:11,462
See, peg?
Now everybody knows.
147
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:16,667
I knew we should have
skipped foreplay.
148
00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:18,836
What happened, marce?
149
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,505
It was horrible.
150
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:21,906
I was just getting
into my nightie
151
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:22,940
Before steve came home
152
00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:25,176
For a little
three-hour love fest.
153
00:07:28,847 --> 00:07:30,048
It's all
we have time for
154
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,115
On a work night.
155
00:07:34,019 --> 00:07:35,319
Then, I saw
this hideous face
156
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,421
In the window.
157
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:37,655
It was a peeper.
158
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,223
Men are slime.
159
00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:40,858
That's right.
160
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:42,460
Here's one!
161
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,433
Hi, honey.
162
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,101
I thought I saw you over here.
163
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,970
So, before I deck
the whole herd over there,
164
00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:53,971
What's going on?
165
00:07:53,972 --> 00:07:56,640
Steve, I was peeped.
166
00:07:56,641 --> 00:07:58,409
It was awful.
167
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:01,679
He saw me in
all my nakedness.
168
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,648
What did he see, honey?
169
00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:08,252
Did-- did he see
your jimmies?
170
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:12,523
He saw it all, steve.
171
00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:14,725
Marcy, did they
find this guy
172
00:08:14,726 --> 00:08:19,763
Passed out in the bushes,
still twitching from fear?
173
00:08:19,764 --> 00:08:21,365
Because I mean,
just the thought of it
174
00:08:21,366 --> 00:08:23,067
Gives me
the heebie-jeebies.
175
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,943
Anyway, I screamed
and ran outside.
176
00:08:32,944 --> 00:08:34,545
The neighborhood women
came to my aid,
177
00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:35,813
And guess what?
178
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:38,416
He's been peeping
all over the neighborhood.
179
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:41,152
We've got ourselves
a serial peeper.
180
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,254
He peeped me last night.
181
00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:44,255
Oh!
182
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:47,791
He peeped you?
183
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:51,095
Yes. It was horrible.
184
00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:53,331
How was it for you?
185
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:56,767
Al...
186
00:08:56,768 --> 00:08:58,202
Please.
187
00:08:58,203 --> 00:09:01,305
The fat and unattractive
have rights too.
188
00:09:01,306 --> 00:09:03,974
So do the beautiful.
189
00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:05,476
I was peeped too.
190
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:07,845
The beast!
191
00:09:07,846 --> 00:09:10,748
Could you show us what he saw?
192
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:15,853
This swine must be stopped...
193
00:09:15,854 --> 00:09:16,920
Yes!
Right.
194
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:19,390
And we are just
the babes to do it.
195
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:20,491
That's right!
196
00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:23,927
Yeah, no man
looks at me and lives.
197
00:09:23,928 --> 00:09:26,830
You said a mouthful.
198
00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:27,898
Let's lynch him!
199
00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:29,233
That's it.
String him up, yes.
200
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:30,635
All right, but before
we hang him,
201
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,136
We'll bring him to my garage.
202
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:33,704
We have a stereo there
203
00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:36,374
That we can use
to cover his screams,
204
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,677
And a-screamin' he will be.
205
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:42,346
I know a toenail
doesn't seem like much,
206
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:45,550
But when peeled slowly away
from the peeper's body
207
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:49,053
With a pair of rusty tweezers...
208
00:09:49,054 --> 00:09:52,122
Then justice will finally belong
to the peepees!
209
00:09:52,123 --> 00:09:54,325
All: Yes!
210
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:56,527
Uh...Marcy.
211
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:00,831
What about the big boys?
212
00:10:00,832 --> 00:10:02,800
Did he see them too?
213
00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:04,402
Steve, how could he
see the jimmies
214
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:07,271
And not see
the big boys?
215
00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:09,139
Now, shut up.
216
00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:13,444
All right, then,
are we all together
217
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,246
On the slow
and brutal death
218
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:16,247
Of this man?
219
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,781
All: Oh, yes!
220
00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:18,782
What about you, peggy?
221
00:10:18,783 --> 00:10:19,783
Well, sure.
222
00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:20,784
He must be st--
223
00:10:20,785 --> 00:10:23,787
He peeped you too?
224
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:26,090
Is there anyone
this guy hasn't peeped?
225
00:10:26,091 --> 00:10:28,426
Just you and old lady mcginty.
226
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,362
Old lady: Something
must be done.
227
00:10:31,363 --> 00:10:34,298
I've just been peeped!
228
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:36,066
[all gasp]
229
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:38,402
Oh, al.
230
00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:42,005
Nobody wants to peep me.
231
00:10:42,006 --> 00:10:43,207
Hold me.
232
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:46,110
Well, nobody wants
to hold you, either.
233
00:11:06,097 --> 00:11:08,666
Al, he's looking at me.
234
00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:16,039
No, peg.
It's an owl.
235
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,040
Yeah, he's seen you.
236
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:21,111
He's spinning
out of control.
237
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:22,713
Now he's down.
238
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,683
Well, you've killed.
239
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:27,418
Can we shut the window now?
240
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:32,156
Al, tell me
the truth.
241
00:11:32,157 --> 00:11:33,891
I'm losing my looks,
aren't I?
242
00:11:33,892 --> 00:11:35,359
No!
243
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,560
Oh, you're
just saying that
244
00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:38,362
Because you know
that's what I want to hear.
245
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:41,231
Now, tell me the truth.
246
00:11:41,232 --> 00:11:42,900
Am I losing my looks?
247
00:11:42,901 --> 00:11:44,502
Yes.
248
00:11:46,871 --> 00:11:50,441
You pig.
249
00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:51,875
You know I'm down.
250
00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:53,744
The least
you could do is lie.
251
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:57,782
Well, come on, honey,
sit down here a second.
252
00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:01,319
He can't see me
if I'm sitting down.
253
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,553
Peg, look.
254
00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:04,655
This guy
is obviously crazy.
255
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:07,124
I mean, he must be crazy
if he won't look at you.
256
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,959
You've got it all, peg.
257
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,428
Aw.
258
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:13,497
Like what, al?
259
00:12:13,498 --> 00:12:15,866
You know, like...
260
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:16,934
I don't know.
261
00:12:16,935 --> 00:12:20,137
I just said it
because I'm tired.
262
00:12:20,138 --> 00:12:22,239
Look, al.
263
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,407
I let you sleep
264
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:26,711
Through the conception
of our two children,
265
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,346
But not this time.
266
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,482
No one is going to sleep
until I get peeped.
267
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:34,652
Well, peg,
maybe it's just because
268
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,487
We're up here
on the second floor and all,
269
00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,288
And it's hard
to get up here to look.
270
00:12:38,289 --> 00:12:39,957
That's no excuse.
271
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:41,225
I left a ladder
272
00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:43,794
And milk and cookies
on the ledge.
273
00:12:45,697 --> 00:12:48,298
Hi, dad. Hi, mom.
274
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:49,700
How's the studying
coming?
275
00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,068
Great.
276
00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:55,439
Kelly, tell mom and dad
the theory of relativity.
277
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,608
Mom and dad
are my relatives,
278
00:12:57,609 --> 00:13:00,210
Therefore, I am.
279
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:07,084
That's terrific, honey.
280
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,387
Bud, can I talk to you
for a second over here?
281
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,054
From now on,
282
00:13:11,055 --> 00:13:13,524
I'm going to be
kelly bundy, senior...
283
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:16,126
Not just a name
on the bathroom wall.
284
00:13:17,929 --> 00:13:18,929
[sighs]
285
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:19,930
[patting on bed]
286
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:21,064
Now, son,
287
00:13:21,065 --> 00:13:22,666
I know you're having fun
with your sister,
288
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:28,005
Her being, well,
a dullard and all...
289
00:13:28,006 --> 00:13:29,807
But if kelly doesn't
get out of high school,
290
00:13:29,808 --> 00:13:31,475
She'll never leave home.
291
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:33,944
Then daddy will never
get his own room.
292
00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:35,012
If that happens,
293
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:37,247
I just might run amok
in alphabetical order.
294
00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:41,051
Do you understand, bud?
295
00:13:43,988 --> 00:13:45,856
I think I understand.
296
00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:51,662
So, no "shakespeare,
the friendly ghost"?
297
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:59,069
No "I dream of lincoln"?
298
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,004
No, bud.
299
00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:03,741
Why did you have me?
300
00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:06,577
Peg, why did we have him?
301
00:14:06,578 --> 00:14:08,813
Peg!
302
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,749
I have cookies.
303
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:12,750
[sighs]
304
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:15,486
He's not coming.
305
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,855
Nobody wants
to look at me.
306
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,191
Nobody wants me.
307
00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:23,928
Nobody loves me!
308
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,796
[wailing]
309
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:37,808
Al: You know what
you have to do, cowboy.
310
00:14:40,378 --> 00:14:42,880
I care about you, pooky.
311
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,851
Really, al?
312
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:50,754
Oh, yes.
313
00:14:50,755 --> 00:14:52,723
Do I ever.
314
00:14:52,724 --> 00:14:55,960
Just seeing you
over there by the window...
315
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,462
Really turns me on.
316
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:04,768
Come to daddy.
317
00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:08,305
Oh, al!
318
00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:11,208
Oh, god.
319
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,744
Well, it's not my fault.
320
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:17,781
I'm sure he'll peep me
in his own good time.
321
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:20,117
Goodbye, mom.
322
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:22,753
Well, the peeper
323
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,655
Is still working
the neighborhood.
324
00:15:24,656 --> 00:15:30,460
Everyone has been peeped twice,
and here I am, peepless.
325
00:15:30,461 --> 00:15:33,096
Oh, peg.
326
00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:35,499
Seeing you sitting there
by the phone
327
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:38,002
Really turns me on.
328
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:42,105
Oh, shut up, al.
329
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:44,775
You think I'm really satisfied
hearing you say,
330
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:47,711
"twenty-eight, 29, 30,
I'm out of here"?
331
00:15:54,686 --> 00:15:56,554
Now, I'm going upstairs
332
00:15:56,555 --> 00:16:01,592
To try on some clothes
in the window.
333
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:04,562
Maybe I ought to get a job
in the bomb squad.
334
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,530
At least then there'd be hope.
335
00:16:06,531 --> 00:16:07,998
Hey, dad.
336
00:16:07,999 --> 00:16:08,999
What are you doing?
337
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,670
Sitting by
the dock of the bay...
338
00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:15,739
Wasting time.
339
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:16,941
Is she learning anything?
340
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:20,044
Kelly.
341
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:21,946
What's the
bill of rights?
342
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:25,315
The first 10 amendments
to the constitution.
343
00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:28,018
What are the three
main types of clouds?
344
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:29,319
There are three--
345
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,456
Cumulus, cirrus,
and stratus.
346
00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:34,792
What is a synapse?
347
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,793
The junction...
348
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:37,394
A microscopic gap,
actually,
349
00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:40,998
Of two neighboring
neurons or nerve cells.
350
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,404
That's incredible.
351
00:16:47,405 --> 00:16:48,538
Good job, bud.
352
00:16:48,539 --> 00:16:50,674
Thanks, dad...
353
00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:52,743
But, uh...
354
00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:54,678
There is one slight problem.
355
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,747
See, if you take
a gallon of knowledge
356
00:16:56,748 --> 00:16:59,950
And pour it
into a shot-glass of a brain,
357
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:02,586
You're gonna spill some.
358
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:03,854
In other words,
359
00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:06,624
Certain basic information
had to be sacrificed.
360
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:07,625
Like what?
361
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:08,726
[doorbell rings]
362
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,227
What was that?
363
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:20,104
The doorbell.
364
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,840
Oh.
365
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,342
Who's the old guy?
366
00:17:28,579 --> 00:17:29,647
That's dad.
367
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:33,117
Oh.
368
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:35,252
Are you our dog?
369
00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:45,262
[doorbell rings]
370
00:17:45,263 --> 00:17:46,797
Doorbell.
371
00:17:51,936 --> 00:17:54,404
Al, I got a problem.
372
00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:57,808
This peeping tom thing
is ruining my marriage.
373
00:17:57,809 --> 00:17:59,609
Marcy's so upset,
374
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:01,545
She hasn't let me
have sex with her
375
00:18:01,546 --> 00:18:02,546
For five days.
376
00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,848
Well, it could be worse.
377
00:18:04,849 --> 00:18:07,551
I've had sex with mine
for five straight days.
378
00:18:07,552 --> 00:18:09,053
Only way
I get through it
379
00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,454
Is to put a little tv
on the pillow next to her
380
00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:14,324
So I can watch
get smart.
381
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:19,196
Well, I like
having sex with marcy.
382
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:20,397
Without sex,
I might as well
383
00:18:20,398 --> 00:18:24,534
Live with my mother
and be happy.
384
00:18:24,535 --> 00:18:25,535
At least
in the morning,
385
00:18:25,536 --> 00:18:27,871
I get my juice
and vitamin in bed.
386
00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:30,708
Really?
387
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:32,509
My mom would just
light me up a lucky
388
00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:34,444
And send me
off to school.
389
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:38,082
But help me, steve.
390
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:40,283
I can't go on
having sex with my wife.
391
00:18:40,284 --> 00:18:43,353
I can't go on
having sex without mine.
392
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,631
Peggy:
Peeper's not coming.
393
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:58,535
Oh, god.
I need a man.
394
00:18:58,536 --> 00:19:00,237
Let me see.
395
00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,772
Oh, well.
396
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:02,639
Al!
397
00:19:04,675 --> 00:19:07,077
Oh, take it easy, al.
398
00:19:07,078 --> 00:19:08,612
Once peggy gets peeped,
399
00:19:08,613 --> 00:19:10,513
Things will be
back to normal...
400
00:19:10,514 --> 00:19:13,951
Whatever that may be
around this house.
401
00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:15,185
Peggy: Al!
402
00:19:15,186 --> 00:19:17,721
Oh, sweetums...
403
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:26,230
You know what
you have to do now, cowboy.
404
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:29,599
Peggy:
♪ love for sale ♪
405
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,501
♪ tantalizing young-- ♪
406
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:34,404
[gargles and spits]
407
00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:36,907
♪ love for sale ♪
408
00:19:57,061 --> 00:20:01,364
Whoo...
409
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:04,401
Whoo!
410
00:20:04,402 --> 00:20:06,536
Peep, peep, peep.
411
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,974
Peeper here.
412
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:16,413
Hmm. Cookies.
413
00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:30,894
Peep, peep.
414
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:36,300
Aw, the hell with it.
415
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:37,301
Women:
There he is!
416
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:38,501
It's him!
417
00:20:38,502 --> 00:20:40,003
Marcy:
Let's get him, girls.
418
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:41,571
Woman:
Get the gasoline!
419
00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:44,107
Help, help!
420
00:20:44,108 --> 00:20:47,477
Peeper, peeper!
421
00:20:47,478 --> 00:20:48,578
It's about time.
422
00:20:48,579 --> 00:20:50,080
How dare you?
423
00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:51,648
[screams]
424
00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:55,252
Marcy:
Now we've got you!
425
00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,587
Start it up, girls.
426
00:20:57,588 --> 00:20:58,588
[chainsaw buzzing]
427
00:20:58,589 --> 00:21:00,790
[al screams]
428
00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:10,868
Oh, honey, that was
so sweet of you
429
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:12,069
To pretend to be
the peeper
430
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:14,137
Just to make me
feel good.
431
00:21:14,138 --> 00:21:15,138
[sighs]
432
00:21:15,139 --> 00:21:16,673
Well, great news.
433
00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:17,674
Last night,
434
00:21:17,675 --> 00:21:19,676
While you were
in intensive care,
435
00:21:19,677 --> 00:21:22,612
I finally got peeped
by the real peeper.
436
00:21:22,613 --> 00:21:24,081
Isn't that great?
437
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,082
I'm so happy for you.
438
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,816
Mm, mm...Tooth.
439
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:33,690
Oh, and by the way, honey,
440
00:21:33,691 --> 00:21:35,558
The neighborhood women
really feel bad
441
00:21:35,559 --> 00:21:38,228
About setting you
on fire like that.
442
00:21:38,229 --> 00:21:39,429
That's okay.
443
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:41,865
I'm just sorry I kept
going out on them.
444
00:21:41,866 --> 00:21:45,235
Must have been
all that sweat.
445
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:47,871
Folks...
446
00:21:47,872 --> 00:21:51,275
A big welcome for kelly bundy...
447
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,576
Senior.
448
00:21:53,577 --> 00:21:54,644
I passed!
449
00:21:54,645 --> 00:21:55,946
Peggy: Oh!
450
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:57,948
Ow.
451
00:21:57,949 --> 00:21:59,049
Thank god,
452
00:21:59,050 --> 00:22:01,451
I don't have to
study ever again.
453
00:22:01,452 --> 00:22:02,920
I'm a senior.
454
00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:03,921
Oh, man,
455
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:06,756
Two more years,
and I graduate.
456
00:22:06,757 --> 00:22:09,092
Oh, honey, this calls
for a real celebration.
457
00:22:09,093 --> 00:22:10,093
Let's go out.
458
00:22:10,094 --> 00:22:11,494
Oh, yeah.
Yeah!
459
00:22:11,495 --> 00:22:12,996
Can somebody bring me
my medicine here?
460
00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:13,997
Let's spend
daddy's money.
461
00:22:13,998 --> 00:22:15,132
Daddy's money!
462
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:16,733
The painkiller's
wearing off over here.
463
00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:21,972
Oh, the hell with them.
464
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,073
At least I'm alone.
465
00:22:23,074 --> 00:22:24,942
Now I can relax.
466
00:22:42,827 --> 00:22:45,429
[♪]